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 laurenlouisa |
The Rebelious Gryffindor FEEDBACK THREAD |
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Posts: 3661 (06/22/04 01:29 PM) Gryffindor Mistress |
This is the feedback thread for 'The Rebelious Gryffindor'! I am editing and finishing this story currently so most of the chapters are reposts after what the Hacker did to them. But I am glad I am almost finished this fic. This thread contains the reviews I had previously as well. Please feel free to tell me anything about my fic. Love it? Hate it? Just let me know and while doing it, earn some great points for your house! Thanks The story itself can be found HERE |
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The Potions Mistress |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 4685 (06/22/04 05:21 PM)
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Quote: ooh very very nice... i bet like kim... i think she could be evil...  . Maybe if she looked deep down there....Quote: exactly!!!! I'm in slytherin! Look at me... oh so pure and evil  Quote:  ! Maybe thats what happened when Kreal was sorted.... Lol!Very nice beginning, is Louisa based on you? Do you think you belong in Slytherin? cos it is by far the best house! Mwahahaa! Well, i like what you've written so far, i look forward to some smut later on heeeeee! |
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laurenlouisa |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 3661 (06/22/04 05:59 PM) Gryffindor Mistress |
Woo hoo my first review! Thanks Ajay!
Quote: Louisa is sort of based on me with some added bonuses! Calling the character Louisa is really because I am not that imaginative and it was the easiest thing to call her. But I do identify with her on many levels - maybe you will see more of me come through the more I write! I don't know about belonging in Slytherin but I definatly have alot of Slytherin qualities. As for cold and calculating - alot of people from high school said that about me but then again I only ever let them see that side of me and not my sweet side! I do have a sweet side - I think It is abit like your inocent side! Quote: You wont need to look far as the next section has smut! Quote: Sometimes I wonder if you and Kim are an old married couple the way you argue about being inocent and her evil and her the other way around! Thanks for reviewing!  |
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Unregistered(d) |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 0 (06/22/04 09:28 PM) |
Very interesting story. I can't wait to see where this ends up. And the cliff hanger at the end! Oi! Well for your first fic, this was great! She and Draco huh? Interesting pairing, and you're quite imaginative. I like her alot. Alot of my friends are Slytherins too. LOL! Anyway keep up the great work!
Hufflepuff (Anad proud of it!) Flightie. 
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Unregistered(d) |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 0 (06/23/04 12:54 AM) |
This looks like an interesting start to a fic. I can't wait to learn more about these new characters and see where the canon ones stand!
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laurenlouisa |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 3661 (06/23/04 08:31 AM) Gryffindor Mistress |
Thanks girls!
The next chapter has alot more Harry and the gang and also more Neville as I just couldn't write anything without him! Flightie, if you didn't like the cliff hanger at the end of this chapter the one at the end of the next chapter looks like it will be worse! Sorry! I can't help it I just love when you get to the end of a chapter in the book and you just have to turn the page. So thats the effect I was going for! The next Chapter will probably go up tonight my time so I think that will make it tommorrow morning for most of you! I hope you enjoyed it! 
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MsMatty35 |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 19825 (06/25/04 08:09 AM)
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ok .. this chapter had me going back and forth .. Louisa does sound pure slytherin and yet she's in Gryffindor .. and omg is she really having an affair with Lucius ?
 my good heavens ... i mean ..   great start Louisa ... on to read part 2
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laurenlouisa |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 3661 (06/25/04 09:46 AM) Gryffindor Mistress |
Thanks for reviewing Matty
Quote: thats was the effect I was going for and hopefully I can manage to show her good side too in a couple of chapters time. Quote: I guess only time will tell! |
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blue dragonfly10 |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 2905 (06/29/04 12:36 AM)
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Interesting beginning. It's kinda fun to see Draco competing with his dad for a girl.
*off to read the next chapter* |
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laurenlouisa |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 3661 (06/29/04 02:19 PM) Gryffindor Mistress |
Draco doesn't know what he has let himself into when it comes top this girl |
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Laura18 |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 2752 (06/29/04 09:37 PM)
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Interesting twist, having a Gryffindor who'd rather be in Slytherin.
 Quote: Either that, or I managed to influence it.  j/k
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laurenlouisa |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 3661 (06/30/04 08:25 AM) Gryffindor Mistress |
Thanks for reviewing! They make it easier to write the next Chapter! |
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Riyo |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 7577 (07/01/04 05:37 PM)
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This is a very good beginning for a story and sure a good start for your first fic! And I like that you chose the topic of a Gryffindor who actually is a Slytherin... very nice!
Quote:Very good advice! It is always better to be friends... although boys just love to cross that line! Quote: Why settle for Junior if you can have Senior? It sure is a hard choice though.. although teh older one might eb a bit more experienced! I love the fact that you add a bit of competition between father and son!Quote:Ohh!!! Louisa really upset little Draco! Well done! She sure is not the usual Gryffindor, she seems so cold and calculating... very Slytherin like! And then Draco desperation at getting some, even using Pansy as a last resort! Too funny! Quote:Oh my! This girl is as Slytherin as they come! Although I must say she has a point somwehere... Mmmmm, might be the Slytherin in me speaking...Quote:A very exciting invitation! And sure as hell not one she would turn down! Nice and interesting prospect. Quote:Bwahahaha!!!! Just something a concerned friend or fatherlike figure would sent. Although the trio is ofcourse known for there ability to attract trouble! Quote:Intriguing! Very interesting! I wonder what that might be... Could it have something to do with Louisa? I am hooked! It is a very good start, you would not say that it is your first fic! It is quite good. Now I am off to read some more! Riyo |
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laurenlouisa |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 3661 (07/01/04 08:59 PM) Gryffindor Mistress |
Thanks Riyo! I am so glad you enjoyed it!
Quote: You can certainly see her confusion at being placed in Griffindor when she shows so much potential to be a Slytherin. Poor girl, I guess she will just have to cause some more trouble in Griffindor... Quote: I personally think those 3 people would get on my nerves rather quickly, except maybe Neville. But thats a personal love. Louisa she just can't stand their.... well just them in general. Quote:  well now I am blushing! Thankyou!Chapter 2 is up and I am in the proccess of typeing Chapter 3 and then once I edit it will be up too. Thanks so much! I just loved your review! |
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SeverinaSnape |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 697 (07/26/04 09:58 PM) Auror |
This is a wicked kick-off to what promises to be an excellent tale!
Quote: I nearly wet myself reading that!! That was so classicly Slytherin. Excellent put-down. And I am sure deep down it gets to Draco where he loves, the wanna-be Lucius that he is. He wants to be so much more than he is, mainly because of who his father is and the reputation of his family. The only thing he has at the moment is the family name...not saying much really, spoiled little rich boy that he is. Quote: Damn that boy is so predictable. Give me Daddy any day. Show me, Lucius LOL! Seriously though, were it Lucius I think the end result would be the same, but he would have executed it with far more finesse. And this is what Draco fails to realise, no matter how hard he tries he will never be his father. Quote: At last, a Gryffindor that has seen the light about Miss Clever Clogs!! <~ Can't stand the insufferable little know-it-all *wink* Quote: Yes, it is so good to see another story that actually points out the all Slytherins are tarnished with the same brush as a few. It is quite an interesting concept of having no doubt that the sorting hat made a mistake. I know JKR says the Hat is infallible, but its interesting to persue this line of thinking. I myself have done it in one of my stories where McGonagall points out that she thinks "the Hat makes serious mistakes" - the example being that she "knows of some Hufflepuffs that were more Slytherin than some Slytherins and who could give the Malfoys a run for their gold". Quote: Excellent ending. I like it when there is a hint of what is to come or a sort of cliffhanger type of situation. Makes me want to read more. Especially in this case given all the mistakes that have been made because of what has not been said to Harry. After my beloved Severus I have a soft spot for Lupin because he is soooooo sweet LOL!! But I think as the last of the Marauders and someone that Harry respects a great deal, Lupin is a father-figure to him and the last link to James and Sirius. His worriment is very plausible. Well done! I will keep trolling around the boards looking for your entries. I wish there was a better way we could keep these things organised so that all chapters were together... Severina |
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laurenlouisa |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch1 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 3661 (07/28/04 09:05 AM) Gryffindor Mistress |
p077.ezboard.com/fmagicalmenageriefrm25.showMessage?topicID=337.topic
There is a link for chapter 2 of this story. I hope you come back and find it! Thankyou for reviewing! It is wonderful to have someone new start reading this. It is my first fic so it is the only one you will find Quote: Thankyou! Draco and Louisa don't have any love to show each other and Draco simply can't get his way. Quote: Yes I think I would take Lucius any day too! Draco just fails in so many required areas that his daddy has got. and finesse is certainly one of them Quote: Yes that is what I think as well. The PoA movie showed it very well. That Lupin is a concerned parent figure to Harry and I am glad that he has someone like that to talk to. Thankyou so much for reviewing and I hope the link helps you find the next part! Laurels |
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laurenlouisa |
Re: The Rebelious Gryffindor - Ch2 Rated-R-NC17) | ||
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Posts: 3661 (07/10/06 01:57 PM) Gryffindor Mistress |
In a small bout of insanity I just wanted to see if I could paste reviews into this thread... I will see how I go...
Settou Auror Ron's Wheezy Agunimon's Bitch Harry/Ron Shipper Bear Animagus Keeper of Ron, Bill & Molly Carol Anne's Twin Sister Evil Buddhist Zerg Gryffindor Mary Gryffindor Greeter Posts: 5926 (6/24/04 7:08 pm) Reply ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is it with men and my clothes; you make it sound like it is easy to get me out of them! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Louisa's been together with Charlie for a while, eh? Between him and Draco, it'll be interesting to see where she ends up next... And smut is always good, oh yes precious, we loves smut with any of the Weasley menses... well, except Arthur... And you really have me concerned now with the dream Harry had! Lupin's reply didn't satisfy me, somehow; I have an awful feeling it's just foretelling bad things to come! Can't wait to see more of this story! MsMatty35 Bitch In Charge Severus's Kitten Sirius Forever Tom's Angel Draco's My Heartbreaker Crazy For Harry Keely's Twin Charms Professor Matty Posts: 7698 (6/24/04 7:16 pm) Reply ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- EEEEEEEEEEEE it's Charlie and not Lucius .. she just said that to make Draco angry .. aha! Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it was getting her to come near the same man more than once that was difficult. But for some reason neither of them could get enough of each other. Charlie had never imagined that his girl could give him this feeling, a feeling of never wanting another woman in his bed. He knew it was not love- no not in the least! It was just lust, but a lust that could not be satisfied no matter how many times he got her into his bed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't know what it is .. but i love this whole passage ... So Louisa doesn't like to get emotioanlly attached to people does she, but she is sort of attached to Charlie though .. hmmm .. So she's not close to the Trio or their friends is she, she's all about the Slytherins .. great set up .. wonderful job Laurels!! laurenlouisa Fourth Year Gryffindor Laurels Posts: 329 (6/24/04 9:11 pm) Reply | Edit ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thankyou for your wonderful reviews! Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- we loves smut with any of the Weasley menses... well, except Arthur... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Arthur ewwww! But smut with the Weasley men is good! But I will agree that Arthur should be kept well and truly out of the smut! Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And you really have me concerned now with the dream Harry had! Lupin's reply didn't satisfy me, somehow; I have an awful feeling it's just foretelling bad things to come! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ah yes when will people learn to tell Harry the truth? Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- EEEEEEEEEEEE it's Charlie and not Lucius .. she just said that to make Draco angry .. aha! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Louisa and Draco have an interesting relationship. Louisa is just a tease and quite a bitch to Draco. But this has a lot more to do with her stubbornness not to give in than any personal hatred. Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Louisa doesn't like to get emotionally attached to people does she -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If someone knows you then they can find your weaknesses and this is something Louisa will avoid as much as possible. Even though she has close friends they are not the type of people you share your darkest fears with. They are brag buddies more than anything. Thankyou both for reviewing it makes me so happy! Chapter 3 will be up I hope Monday morning, but I have uni exams so I dont know what will happen. My mantra at the moment is if you study for an hour you can have 15 mins on MM or writing. You just have to make an hour. It is failing badly as I have already been on MM for a good 30 mins already. The Potions Mistress Auror The Smut Tease Snape Intoxicated MM Junkie Whip Happy Tramp Insane & Damn Proud! Slytherin Ajay Posts: 2464 (6/27/04 1:27 am) Reply ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Charlie had never imagined that his girl could give him this feeling, a feeling of never wanting another woman in his bed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- awwww... what a scarlet woman... Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Louisa is just a tease -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and we all know there is nothing wrong with being a tease! mwahahhaaaaa.... Well done I love the smut (cos I"m innocent and all ) and I do like how you've put storyline to the smut, something that i have yet to master.... Its all about the tease for me.... ah, sweet reputation... heee laurenlouisa Fourth Year Gryffindor Laurels Posts: 395 (6/27/04 2:26 am) Reply | Edit ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for reviewing Ajay! Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and I do like how you've put storyline to the smut, something that i have yet to master.... Its all about the tease for me -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smutt with storyline but thankyou! But I don't think I will ever be able to write smutt with as much story line and meaning as Matty. She does it so well. And then again I can't write humour like you. Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and we all know there is nothing wrong with being a tease! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I always like to tease too! It is so much fun! Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sweet reputation... heee -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- whos? mine or yours? I don't know I think we are both sweet and innocent! or maybe not The Potions Mistress Auror The Smut Tease Snape Intoxicated MM Junkie Whip Happy Tramp Insane & Damn Proud! Slytherin Ajay Posts: 2468 (6/27/04 4:10 am) Reply ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Laurels, you know I'm sweet and innocent! Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And then again I can't write humour like you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- awwww you made me blush! thank you! And whoa, Matty's writing is brilliant! Unfortunately I still haven't gotten around to finishing seduced by darkness, which i will have to do soon.... otherwise Sweet and Lovely Matty might get ! blue dragonfly10 Auror Dream Doctor ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Sirius' Secret Stalker Angel Behind The Veil Lost Star In Heaven Psychologist Wannabe Ravenclaw Jen Posts: 2203 (6/28/04 12:06 pm) Reply ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After reading this chapter, i'm tempted to say "what a slut!" Very well done, especially the encounter with Charlie. One thing, though. You should punctuate the dialogs, cuz I was a little confused about who was talking. Apart from that, it was good work. laurenlouisa Fifth Year Gryffindor Laurels Posts: 432 (6/29/04 1:23 am) Reply | Edit ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thankyou for R & Ring! It is great! Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After reading this chapter, i'm tempted to say "what a slut!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- She certainly tries to be one but that might all change. but who knows. Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You should punctuate the dialogs, cuz I was a little confused about who was talking. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for the tip I will make sure I have done it in Chapter 3 which I hope to have finished soon! Laura18 Ministry Official Potter Geneologist History Professor Friend of Lupin & Black Hufflepuff Hufflepuff Greeter Posts: 986 (6/29/04 8:49 am) Reply Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Great smut and storyline all in one. I think this is the first time I've seen Charlie in it. Also enjoyed the looks she's getting from some of the other Gryffindors. Hope you find time to read and review "Lupin's Awakening." laurenlouisa Fifth Year Vodka Queen Gryffindor Laurels Posts: 446 (6/29/04 7:30 pm) Reply | Edit ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have it on the list. You probably havn't seen my ranting around the place, but next week I am off to see family in the middle of nowhere for a whole week and I am taking a lot of reading material, yours, Jades and Ajays stories just to name a few are on that list. So I will have the reviews posted the week after next. *Sobs over no internet for a week* Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Also enjoyed the looks she's getting from some of the other Gryffindors. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And next chapter they will talk.. lol... it should be quite and an incounter! Thanks for R and Ring! Laura18 Ministry Official Potter Geneologist History Professor Friend of Lupin & Black Hufflepuff Hufflepuff Greeter Posts: 990 (6/29/04 9:28 pm) Reply Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Sobs over no internet for a week* -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gosh does that mean you'll have to write reviews on pen and paper first? Anyhow, have fun and bring back pictures Laurels. laurenlouisa Fifth Year Vodka Queen Gryffindor Laurels Posts: 457 (6/30/04 1:11 am) Reply | Edit ezSupporter Re: The Rebelious Griffindor Chapter 2 (R to NC17) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes I would think it does But such is life.... maybe I can convince my gran or dad into borrowing their laptop...mmm it has possibilties! Pictures...I will try |
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