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You know, I really love you, Prongs. Sirius Black slurred, as he and James Potter fell in the Gryffindor tower after a night out at the Three Broomsticks. Being recently animated, due to a potion mishap, really brings a guy down so the two formally deceased men decided to have a night out in the hopes that it would cheer them up. James was the potions accident, Sirius just made an entrance in the Great Hall, nearly wrecking the entire hall.

It worked.

Well they werent moping any more.

In fact they were very drunk and they could barely stand. How they managed to get back to Gryffindor was beyond them.

James turned to Sirius and said. I love you too Padfoot. Keep your voice down. He scolded, turned and fell over the armchair into a heap. Whoa! Whos been moving the furniture?

Sirius walked forward and banged his leg on the table. Prongs, he whined, as he sat on James. The furniture is alive!

Padfoot, get off!

The table is looking at me. It wants to eat my leg Its safer if I just stay on the chair and not make any sudden movements

Padfoot!

But the evil table might get me

Padfoot, the table is not evil.

It bit me.

Padfoot, stop being a big baby.

You dont love me any more.

Stop whining.

You dont love me.

Yes I do.

why are you being mean?

Why are you looking at me like that?

You know, Prongs, in this light, you look like my old girlfriend

Padfoot, get off me. Im not a girl

Well in the light of the firelight, you do

Sirius leaned forward and kissed James on the lips. James responded before his brain slowly caught up with his body and he pushed Sirius away. Sirius, I told you, Im not a girl

You look like one.

Youre drunk, Padfoot.

So are you

You kissed me.

You kissed me back.

Padfoot, your hands are wandering

So are yours.

Well The drinks making me horny andYou do look a bit like Lily, especially if you squint.

Prongs Sirius said warningly. I look nothing like Oh yeah, move your hand a bit Mmmm!

You like that?

Yeah. Im horny now.

My bed or yours?

Whatevers nearer.

The two men stood up and stumbled up the stairs to their room, which Dumbledore was kind enough to provide for them, making a hell of a racket.

Oh when the Saints go marching in! Oh! When the saints go marching in! I want to be in that number. Oh when the saints go marching in. James and Sirius sang, drunkenly, at the top of their voices, all thoughts of being quiet gone out the window. (A/N: Incidentally this is the song for my local football (soccer) team that are named The Saints. I couldnt resist a nod to them)

Prongs, you know, Im surprised that no one has woken up yet. Sirius said, as they stumbled in the room.

Well we were trying to be quiet. James said as they fell on to the bed nearest the door. James landing on Sirius.

Can you believe Moony has been shagging a man while we were gone?

I know, let alone one that looks like him.

Well I like Dan

Me too. Its good to be back.

I totally agree.

We must find the student who brought us back, or at least brought me back, and thank them.

"Good idea... Even though I heard the explosion that caused your re-birth knocked out the student with her own cauldron."

"Ouch... I hope she's alright..."

"She's still unconcious..."

"I hope she gets better then..."

Prongs, shut up and kiss me. Sirius ordered as he lay back on the bed.

As you wish.

OK the second part of this chapter was written when I was a bit drunk, so excuse any misspellings or bad grammer.

---

As James and Sirius made their way down to the hospital wing, James reflected on the events that had brought him back to life. From what he had been told by Remus, he gathered that the one responsible for his rebirth was very accident prone.

*Flashback*

Jade sighed as she tucked a strand of wayward hair behind her ear and stirred her potion with her right hand, ignoring her partner Harry, and trying to avoid touching him, just in case she decided to jump on him in the middle of the class. The door opened and Remus walked in. Jade looked up and groaned. Oh God, go away. I want to pass this class. It should be illegal for him to come in and be a distraction.

Harry looked up and saw Jades face. Dont look at him. He muttered as he chucked a dandelion into his cauldron and stirred it..

Why in hell not? Jade said, her eyes flashing.

Because things explode.

Jade raised an eyebrow. Okay, whatever Potter. Just shut up and add the werewolf blood

Harry added the blood and cringed. Ew can you imagine getting that?

Im sure its no worse than any other body fluid that you might have to get from a werewolf Jade muttered, her cheeks red. Jade smirked at Harrys expression.

Harry absently mindedly dropped some belladonna in the cauldron and muttered. I miss him. I wish my dad was here.

Aww Harry You can have my uncle hes crazy. Jade put her hand on Harrys arm and looked at the cauldron. Holy crap! Did you add the belladonna?

Yes.

Good boy. Jade said, patting Harry on the head.

Im not a dog.

Ah shut up Harry.

Jade and Harry continued their arguing, not noticing when their potion boiled over the edge of the cauldron. The did however notice the massive explosion that sent the cauldron flying upwards and the amount of smoke. When the smoke cleared a bit they noticed that there was a hazel-eyed man, who looked in his twenties and looked a lot like Harry, standing in front of them wearing nothing but a smile.

Harry and Jade looked at each other and Harry muttered. Dad?

James nodded.

Jade turned to Harry, after eying up James and said. You know Harry, I think I fancy your dad. Hes got a freaking h The rest of her sentence being cut off by a cauldron landing on her and knocking her out.

Remus turned to James and asked him a barrage of questions that only the real James would know the answers to. After James had answered each of them correctly, Remus told Harry that James was indeed his dad.

James caught Harry as he fainted.

Remus bent down and picked up Jade gently and him and James carried Harry and her to the hospital wing.

On the way there, James had caught up with a recently reanimated Sirius and they went through the whole thing again.

*End flashback*

Prongs, are you alright? Sirius asked snapping James out of his thoughts.

Yeah, Im fine Padfoot.

Are you worried about whatever her name is?

Well she did bring me back to life


After James and Sirius had gotten the hangover potion from Pomfrey, James wandered over to Jades bed where she lay, looking pale and still. He held her hand and said. I never did thank you for bringing me back

He was cut off by her eyes opening and she sat up hurriedly and kissed James on the mouth. James responded and was surprised when she pulled back and said. Youre not Harry, who are you?

By this time, Harry had come in and walked over to Jade and she was telling him about what had happened before he had come in. Remus was quietly listening to Jade talking. James and Sirius walked closer to listen into their conversation. When she got to the kissing part Harry put on a disgusted look. "Ew, Jade, you just snogged my dad..."

Well he's a good kisser... Shame he's otherwise occupied or I'd have him for myself

What about me?

Well Harry at least you aren't shagging any males... at least not that I know of

Yeah but still, you kissed him. Harry said.

So? Its not as if I was in your body when I did it. Jade muttered.

No thats true but I wish I was *in* your body. Harry said, with a slight smirk.

It only took a moment for the meaning of those words to sink in. Jade slapped Harry on the arm. Harry, youre a pervert.

Well you were the one to make me a pervert.

So I was. Oh Harry, I made up with Remus again, were now friends

Good. I was sick of you two fighting. Harry said. But you still snogged my dad.

Yeah I know, and I offered to go to bed with him as well. Jade said, laughing at Harrys expression.

Way too much information Harry muttered.

Harry, I was delirious at the time.

James and Sirius realised they were standing very close together and they were holding hands as well. They dropped each others hands and jumped apart. James running his hand through his hair nervously.

Nothing happened, alright? James ordered.

Fine by me.

Quiet, I want to hear what theyre saying

So, hes forgiven you for throwing that jug of water at his head then? Harry asked, smirking as he recalled the incident. It was during one of their fights.

Be quiet Harry. Remus said, interrupting Harrys thought. Of course I have forgiven her. he lowered his voice to a mutter. How could I not, just in case she throws something else?

Sirius snickered. Moony, you are so whipped.

Am not.

Are too.

Are not.

Whatever. Youre whipped.

Padfoot, Moony, shut up, I have a headache. James said, rubbing his head.

Sorry Prongs Sirius and Remus said together.

Harry snickered this time. Guys, you are so whipped.

Im not whipped. James said.

James, shut up. Jade said, with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Yes Jade. James murmured.

You were saying? Harry said.

Harry?

Yes Jade?

Shut up, dear.

Yes Jade.

Jade smirked. Youre all whipped.

Why are you so moody, Jade? Harry asked.

Well you see, Harry, when a female reaches puberty they go through all these hormonal changes and they get

Harry cut James off before he could finish his sentence. Thats not what I mean! Ew! There was an ick factor there. I meant Jade has become really moody of late and I wondered why.

Sirius leaned to James and muttered. Ten Galleons says its that time of the month.

Youre on.

I heard that.

Uh oh She looks like she could hex us. James said. Were sorry. He added hurriedly.

Harry hid a snicker and looked at the clock. Holy crap, I have to get to breakfast. See you later guys.

Hang on Harry. Were coming with youJames looked at Sirius. I cant wait to see the expressions on all of those brats faces when we go in. He said, with an evil smirk.

Prongs, I like the way you think. Im so glad I was found innocent, or else Id be deprived of this moment Sirius said, wearing a devilish smirk. Coming Moony?

Oh hes always coming Jade said with a smirk.

And you said I was perverted. Harry said, earning another smack from Jade.

Shut up Harry. Go on. I want to hear all about what their faces were like.

Well, shocked. I imagine, especially if Remus is coming James said, with a dirty grin.

Jade grabbed a pillow and threw it hard and laughed as it hit Sirius in the face. "My God Jade, you should be a chaser. You have a great arm." Sirius said.

Jade flushed and muttered. "Uh no. I hate to fly..."

James, before he knew what he was saying, said. "I'll teach you to fly."

"Oh great, what I always wanted to do, ride Potter's broomstick."

You know you want to ride my broomstick Harry said, with a laugh.

Just GO! Jade ordered and smirked as they obeyed her orders. After they left she put her head back on her slightly lower pile of pillows and sighed.


As the four males reached the Great Hall and stood outside the doors. James counted down the seconds before they made their grand entrance in to the Great Hall. Five FourThreeTwo OneNOW!

They pushed open the double doors and sauntered in as if they owned the place.

Slowly the conversation died out as they noticed the four. Harry broke the silence. Er Everyone meet my dad, James Potter and my Godfather, Sirius Black

Whispers broke out around the Hall.

Oh my God, James is SO dreamy

Sirius is really hot

Ive heard that James is very well endowed One of the Gryffindors muttered.

So is Sirius

Where did you hear that?

Didnt you hear? He appeared naked in a potions class.

Was that the one where Kirk knocked herself out?

Yeah, I cant blame her. Id knock myself out if I saw him naked.

What about Sirius?

Hes hot too

James raised his voice. Um Would everyone please not talk about us as if we are not here

Remus smirked. It seems you two have a fan club

Harry raised his voice as well. Or talk about Jade, as shes not here.

Jade, Shes a good kisser. I bet shes a tiger in the bedroom too James said, loudly. The other three males looked at him. What? Ive been dead for fifteen years. I think I need a shag

Dad, that was an overshare. Harry said. Ew!

Harry blushed. Well UmEr Professor Lupin is right

Remus raised an eyebrow. I was? That was just a guess.

A very good guess on your part. James said. So you and Jade found cupboards to snog in what else do you do in there?

Harry choked again. Why do you insist on asking me perverted questions when Im either about to eat or drink something?

Because were perverts Sirius interjected.

At least you admit it. Remus muttered. So what else did you do in there? Why wasnt I invited? James, Sirius and Harry all choked this time. They turned to stare at Remus in amazement. Remus raised an eyebrow. What?

Moony, youre just as perverted as the rest of us. Sirius said, with a smirk.

I know. Remus said with a small smile. I just hide it better.

James grinned at Remus. Welcome to Perverts Anonymous .

Sirius turned to Harry with an evil grin. So what happens in the cupboards?

Oh we just Talk Harry said, with a bright red face.

Is that what theyre calling it now?

Shut up Sirius. Harry muttered.

Padfoot, leave Harry alone. James said.

Thanks Dad.

Only *I* can ask Harry about his love life So Harry, spill.

Dad!

Come on, as your father, I have a right to know. I hope you use protection

Of course

Ah ha! Sirius yelled, causing the whole hall to go silent. So you admit that youve been shagging her.

My son *actually* has a sex life. James said, as he pretended to wipe away a tear. Im so proud.

I know Prongs. Hes all grown up. Sirius teased.

Harry blushed even more and banged his head on the table. I dont believe this.

Remus patted Harry on the back. Dont worry Harry, theyll get over it soon.

How soon is soon? Harry asked as he looked up.

Believe me Harry, theyll forget about it soon Hopefully.

This is SO embarrassing. Harry muttered as he let his head bang back on the table. Ow!

So what exactly happens in the cupboards? Remus asked.

Can we discuss it later?

Sure.

So Harry, was she any good? Sirius asked.

Im not going to discuss this anymore here. Harry said.

Okay Harry. So Moony, is she any good? Sirius asked, turning to Remus.

Why do you want to know that Padfoot?

No reason. Sirius replied. Just wondered.

Padfoot, stay away from her.

Okay. I wont pry any more.

Good. I have a question of my own, Padfoot. Just a quick question, Remus replied.

Okay, ask away.

Why is James scent all over you? Why do you smell of alcohol? Where did you go last night?

Thats not a quick question, thats three questions.

Just answer them.

Okay Moony, dont get your boxers in a twist. I dont remember. I went out drinking with Prongs last night. The Three Broomsticks.

Harry looked up. You went out drinking?

Well yeah

Wicked. How drunk did you get?

Harry Remus said warningly.

Drunk enough to not remember what we did last night. Sirius replied.

Cool

You guys are going to be a bad influence on Harry. Remus said.

Us? What about that girlfriend of his? James said, looking mock wounded.

Shes not my girlfriend anymore.

Well Jade is a bad influence on everyone she meets. Remus muttered.

Including you, Moony?

Yes, even including me

James smiled. Thats good news.

I think I really like this Jade, especially if she can corrupt Moony. Sirius said.

Bite me, Sirius. Remus said, ignoring the stares from James and Harry. Something Jade told me.

Where would you like the bite? Sirius asked. Remus leaned over and whispered something in Sirius ear. Sirius leaped back in shock. Really?

No. Plus I think Prongs might get a little jealous

James hearing his name, looked up. Huh?

Never mind. Remus replied.

Oh ok.

Moony just wanted me to bite him?

So why would I be jealous?

I didnt say where he wanted me to bite him.

Harry interjected. So whats the big deal? Sirius leaned over and whispered in Harrys ear. Harry looked at Sirius in shock. Really? Great. Just what I need, those mental images to last me through the day

A new voice behind Harry spoke. Mental images? What mental images?

OK this is the chapter that has the slash in... It's been a long time since I've written slash so I hope it's alright...

---

Uh well Harry stuttered.

Come on Harry, you can tell us

Harry blushed and burst out with. Its all Sirius fault.

Me? What did I do?

You telling me where Professor Lupin was going to bite you... My innocent ears

Innocent, my arse. Sirius snorted.

I am innocent.

Innocent and yet youve taken part in a threesome.

Well I was under the influence of a lust potion at the time.

And the unnamed female?

Well she was under it as well.

And Moony?

Well he was just a horny werewolf who needed a shag

Hey! I resent that.

James spoke up. Guys, we really need to stop this talk about shagging

Whats up Prongs? Remus asked.

James shifted in his seat. Well, you see

Harry buried his head in his hands as he mentally finished the sentence. Oh my God! My dads getting horny.

Is this true, Prongs?

Yeah. Well I have been dead for 15 years You cant get laid when youre dead.

Dad! That was just way to much information.

Can we talk about something else?

Like what?

Quidditch!


Much later Ron, James, Sirius and Harry were involved in a heated discussion about Quidditch, all thoughts of Harrys love life put to the back of their minds

For the moment

Us Gryffindors have the best team. Harrys the best seeker.

James made a great Chaser.

Harry Looked at Ron and Hermione. Hey, where did you two go?

We were inspecting all the cupboards to make sure they were solid.

Ahh the old cupboard inspection trick. Harry muttered. I remember J ersomeone pulling the same trick. Those cupboards are really strong.

James leaned forward eagerly, all thoughts of his previous comments gone. I want details

Not here. Hermione said, her face bright red.

Well she liked to slam me into walls. Harry said. I like it when she did that.

Great, Ron muttered. More details about Harrys sex life coming out.

Sirius was busy processing what Harry had said, or had almost said. His eyes widened in realisation. He nudged James and whispered in his ear.

James raised an eyebrow. Really?

James smirked, trying to think of using this information. He looked at Sirius, who was looking at him with lust in his eyes.

He finished his coffee and stood up. I hate to love you and leave you but I need to have a shower.

Sirius snickered and stood up as well. Yeah, me too. See you guys later.

Remus waved half-heartedly. See you soon. He watched them go with a sad expression on his face. Theyre getting close again. As they always have been, he sighed deeply. Ive made a real mess of things. He thought to himself as he drank his tea. I wish Jade was here, shed know what to do.


Meanwhile James and Sirius had undressed and were looking at each other. You know, Padfoot, this is just like when we were in school.

Yeah Sirius said, as he dragged James into the shower and pinned him against the wall. Sirius let go of James. Im sorry, I dont know what I was thinking.

I know what you were thinking, Padfoot, James said, as he grabbed Sirius and kissed him. Sirius responded almost immediately. Lets worry about that later

Sirius leaned back. I think Im still drunk

Yeah, its a thing called hormones James said.

Sirius reached his hand down in between them and stroked James rapidly hardening cock. Whos going to be on the bottom first? Sirius other hand was busy caressing James arse. Sirius pulled James in for another kiss.

Ill go first. James said as he was pinned against the wall again by Sirius. Sirius roughly spun James around and braced himself at James entrance. James turned his head to look at Sirius. Padfoot, Im not gay.

Me neither. Sirius said, breathing into James ear as he slowly entered James.

James cried out. Sirius moved his hips slowly, trying not to hurt James. The sensations it was causing James were driving him insane. Never before had he felt anything like this before.

Sirius was enjoying the feel of James around his cock as he moved his hips in and out. A spark of pleasure running up and down their spines with every thrust. Sirius sank his teeth into James shoulder.

The sensations proved to be too much for the two men and they soon came at the same time, James spraying his seed up the shower wall, Sirius emptying himself inside James.

James and Sirius collapsed bonelessly against the wall, Sirius still inside James. James turned his head and kissed Sirius on the lips gently. Thanks Padfoot. I still have some excess energy left. Shall we go again?

Sirius grinned. Of course Prongs. After all, you have fifteen years to catch up on He pulled himself out of James gently.

James turned to face Sirius, with a wolfish grin. This time I get to be on top.


Much later, after James and Sirius had finished showering and separated, James wandered the corridors, deep in thought. I cant believe I shagged Sirius He leaned against the wall and winced as he hit a tender part against the wall. Im not gay yet I enjoyed it What does that say about me? He stepped away from the wall and resumed his walk, idly noticing that he was in the Transfiguration corridor. As he turned the corner, he bumped into Jade, who had obviously just come from the hospital wing. He forced a smile. Hello Jade. How are you feeling now?

Oh just peachy. At least I was let out of the Hospital Wing Jade replied. She stepped closer to James and sniffed him. She raised an eyebrow. So you and Sirius had fun?

James looked at her in confusion. I dont know what you mean

You and Sirius. Shagging. Shower. Ring any bells?

Oh yeah. Im not gay.

I didnt say you were. If anything, Id say you were just horny.

Yeah, well I have been dead for a long time

So making up for lost time?

You could say that.

Still feeling horny?

James didnt answer instead he grabbed Jade and pinned her against the wall and kissed her forcefully. Jade responded by kissing him back and tangling her hands in his hair. James grinned at her. Does that answer your question? He asked as he unbuttoned her robes.

James said nothing. Harry looked at his father, this time closer. James unruly hair was sticking up even more, his lips were bruised and his clothes were hanging open. Dad, Harry hissed. What happened to you?

Nothing. James answered.

Sirius looked at Harry and said. Isnt it obvious? After he left me, he went out and got another shag. A female this time, I believe. Jade paled and pretended not to hear their conversation and went about shredding some nettles.

Harry groaned. Sirius, please, I dont need those images.

I bet she was hot. Eh, Prongs?

Harry forgot his earlier mental anguish and looked at James expectantly. Was she?

Yeah she was. James answered. Luckily for me, she was feeling just as horny as I was.

Sirius whooped for joy and when Snape and the whole class looked at him, Sirius said. Prongs here got lucky. He got a shag for the first time in fifteen years.

James blushed. Padfoot, God! You dont yell things out like that to the whole class. Yay!! I got lucky!

Harry looked at Jade and rolled his eyes. I never thought about my dads love life before.

Nor have I ever thought about your dads love life either. Jade said with a smirk. Well not until that time in the corridor. She added silently.

Dont you think it scary that our dads have love lives? Harry whispered.

I prefer not to think about MY dad. Jade whispered back.

So what happened? Sirius was asking James.

Well I had just left you and I needed to clear my head and I bumped into her in the Transfiguration corridor...

Sirius eyes bugged out. What? Right there in the corridor? James nodded. You lucky thing. So was it good?

It was wonderful. She looked so innocent in her robes but then she practically tore my clothes off.

Wow! Who was it? Harry asked.

James caught Jades eye and saw her shake her head unnoticed . Uh no one really

Sirius opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by Snape. Kindly discuss that elsewhere.

Sorry. Harry, James and Sirius muttered.

The rest of the lesson went smoothly. Five minutes before the bell was going to go the door opened and Remus stepped in. Ah Sorry Severus, may I speak with Jade for a little while?

Fine. Take your bag and get out of my sight. Severus muttered.

James turned to Sirius and asked. What do you think that was about?

Jade glared at him before she left. Out in the corridor, she looked at Remus and sighed when he sniffed her.

Jade, why were you with James?

Oh thats nice. Not a hello, how are you feeling?

Sorry. Hello. How are you feeling?

Hi, Im feeling okay considering that Ive not long got out of the Hospital Wing.

Straight into James arms it seems. Remus said, his voice tinged with Jealousy.

Youre not my boyfriendNow.

No but I used to be. Remus said, pinning her to the wall.

Yes because you dumped me.
Im sorry.

Remember were just friends now.

Jade, James has a certain reputation or at least he did before he married Lily. He used to use girls to get what he wanted and then break their hearts and I dont want him to hurt you because he seems to have reverted back to that phase of his life.

Oh? And who are you to talk? Jade spat. I believe you said to me earlier on before I was in the hospital wing, I dont want to hurt you and I think we should break up. Those words hurt me. Anyway, you should mind your own business and let me live my life.

Remus grabbed her arm. Stay away from James.

Jade wrenched her arm out of his grip. Get off me. Youre not my boyfriend.

Remus looked hurt. Stay away from him.

No. Jade said, as she stormed out past him. Just leave me the Hell alone.

Why are you so moody? Remus asked, following after her.

Jade turned around. Well, first of all, youre bugging me and plus I havent taken my potion yet The potion being a recent discovery. It helped Jade control her dark side. Without it, she gets cranky and dangerous.

Why not?

Because I have to wait for the other potions to go out of my system first from when I was up in hospital.

Remus paled. This cant be good.

Tell me about it. Jade said, as she entered the Great Hall. The hall going quiet as they noticed the expression on Jades face.

Remus grabbed her arm. Jade, wait, we need to talk about it

Get off me.

Not until you talk to me. Stay away from him.

Get off me, youre not my boyfriend.

Stop saying that. I dont want you to get hurt If anyone finds out about it, theyll think youre a

SMACK!!

The force of Jades slap, knocked Remus off his feet onto the floor.

Remus lay there cradling his jaw. He turned to everyone who was staring at him. Shes having a bad day.

James commented. This is going to be harder than I thought. He looked up to see Jade heading his way and grinned as she sat herself down on his knee. So what was that all about? he asked as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Meanwhile still in the Great Hall, all the students were sitting in shock at Jades pronouncement.

Ron turned to Hermione. I cant believe she did that. Harry, what was your dad thinking? Picking the most innocent student to have sex with.

Yeah I know. I hope theyll be gentle on her. Hermione said. The boys and Remus looked at her. Er I mean it will be her first time.

Harry snorted. Thats what you think, he muttered under his breath.

Remus said. Now, now, no gossiping about Jade and her love life behind her back.

But Professor, she doesnt have a love life. Hermione stated.

Bloody hell Harry, I wonder if your dad will teach her a trick or two. Ron said, earning a slap from Hermione.

Ron, just because she doesnt shag in public doesnt mean she doesnt shag at all. Harry said. Ron, Hermione and a few Gryffindors within earshot stared at him. Ron, I really did not need that mental image.

What do you know, Harry? Hermione asked.

Yeah Harry, just because you have a sex life, doesnt mean everyone has a sex life. Especially not dear old Jade. Ron said.

Remus sat back and watched the conversation, idly wondering what Jade, James and Sirius were doing. I hope he doesnt hurt her. He muttered.

Before Harry knew what he was doing, he opened his mouth and asked. Honestly guys, havent you wondered how Jades knickers ended up on the torch?

Maybe Peeves put them there. Doesnt prove anything. What was she thinking? Wearing knickers like that They were so purple Ron said, getting a faraway look on his face.

Honestly Ron, why are we discusing Jade's knickers anyway? Hermione said.

Theyre so purple And lacy

OK thats true.

Pansy looked over to the Gryffindor table and sneered. Well Potter, looks like your little girlfriend has dumped you for your dad Are you going to cry now? Of course she probably wont give you any.

Harry looked over to the Slytherin table and said in a cheerful voice. I think youll find that that is ex-girlfriend. We havent dated in such a long time.

So? Didnt she give you any?

Before Harry could reply, Remus covered his mouth and hissed into his ear. Harry, do you really think she would want you telling all her secrets?

Youre right, Harry said, once Remus had removed his hand. Shes probably having fun, shagging my dad and Godfather

She has really rubbed off on you, hasnt she? Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

Yeah, strangely enough the thought of her shagging my dad and Godfather doesnt really upset me

Oh?

Yeah.

What happened? Usually you squeak if we even mention your dads love life

I am a teenager after all

Harry, that is your dad youre talking about Ron interrupted.

Yeah My formerly dead dad. I think he is at least allowed a love life. After all, hes been dead for so long

Hermione spat out her pumkin juice all over Remus. Sorry, Professor. Harry, thats sweet of you.

Remus wiped his face. Thanks Hermione I wonder what those three are doing right now

Probably getting naked and doing the horizontal tango. Ron said, wearing a smirk on his face.

James and Sirius are probably being gentle with Jade Hermione said. Ooh a naked James AND a naked Sirius Could be interesting

Harry snorted. Havent you heard? Jade likes it really rough.

Ron and Hermione stared at Harry. Ron spoke first. Would you repeat that?

Didnt you hear me? Harry, all but, yelled. I said, Jade likes it really rough. How do you think I got all those bruises?

The whole Hall stopped talking and stared at Harry.

Ron goggled at Harry. Thats not possible. Shes innocent. Ive never seen her even kissing a boy. Maybe she roughly kissed you

If you want to interpret it like that Harry muttered.

I bet theyre not actually shagging. Cho said. I bet theyre just pretending.

I know how we can be sure. Pansy pulled out her wand and cast a spell on a space before where Harry and the others were sitting. Everyone looked at her. Its called the line of Virginity. She cast another spell. This one shows whether youve had sex recently, within the last five hours. If youre a virgin, like our Darling Jade here, it will hex the person, to have virgin written on their forehead for 12 hours. If you havent had sex recently, the person will be dyed bright orange. If you have, theyre dyed a dark purple Kind of like those knickers of Jades

Usually, Miss Parkinson, I would take it down but I, myself, am curious to know about Miss Kirk. Snape said.

Severus, Remus protested. You cant be serious

Come on, Lupin, arent you a tiny bit interested?

Its still an invasion of privacy.

Conversations broke out all over the hall.

Do you think shell pass the test?

This is Jade, were talking about.

In other words, no.

The door to the Great Hall opened and Jade, James and Sirius walked in, looking dishevelled and wearing grins on their faces. As they walked over to the Gryffindor table, whispers broke out. Any minute now, shes going to walk over there and be dyed orange.

Jade, James and Sirius stopped before the spell wall. Jade reached out a hand and touched it. What spell is this? She pulled her hand back and hid her hand quickly.

Sirius whistled. Some kind of colour changing spell.

Hermione spoke up. Its the virginity spell and a spell to see if youve had sex recently.

How recent is recent? James grinned.

Within the last five hours.

Oh no. Im not walking through that thing. Jade said, stepping back.

Miss Kirk, kindly walk through it. Dumbledore said.

Yeah, Cho sneered. Unless of course, youre a chicken.

Why this sudden interest in my love life? Jade asked.

You mean, your non-existent love life. Pansy sneered.

Yeah, who would shag you anyway? Millicent said and her and Pansy burst out laughing.

Fine, Ill walk through it and well see whos laughing. Jade said, as she took a step forward.

James put his hand on her shoulders. Dont worry, Padfoot and I know the truth, he whispered in her ear.

I know, Jade whispered back and took another step forward, touching the wall and passing through it.

Everyone gasped when they saw the colour she had turned.

Thats not possible. Pansy wailed.

For Jade was a nice shade of purple.

Jade turned to Pansy and said in a scathing tone. Too bad for you, Pansy, but Im not a virgin. I havent been one for a long time, she smiled at Harry. Isnt that right, Harry?

Sorry it's so short.

---

Well, Im not sure what to think. Draco replied.

I wonder what colour Moony would turn Sirius mused.

Well he has been gone for a while Think we should hunt him down? James mused.

What? What if hes with Jade in one of Harrys cupboards? Do you really think they would love us we barged in uninvited mid-shag? Sirius yelped.

Jade would hex you. Harry pointed out in the tone of someone discussing the weather. She knows quite a few curses.

OK. Lets hope she hasnt killed him. Sirius said, as he reached for the new potatoes at the same time James did. Sirius flinched as his hand accidentally brushed James, causing a warm tingling feeling to run up their spines. They looked at each other and pulled their hands away hurriedly.

James sat up hurriedly and tried to pretend nothing was wrong, jumping when Draco said. So, you and Jade?



Meanwhile in a deserted corridor, Remus found Jade sitting against the wall, sulking. He slid down the wall next to her. Jade made to move away but Remus grabbed her arm. I know we havent exactly seen eye to eye lately but people are going to notice that something is wrong. The mood swings, the hitting. Someone is going to put two and two together

Jade turned to look at Remus and laughed bitterly. They wont guess it. If I go through the mood swings, theyll just think its PMS.

Oh and the wanting to jump James is also a effect of PMS?

It happens.

Are you doing this to get me back?

Jade turned to look at him. What do you think? You really hurt me when you said that we should break up. I wanted to hurt you so much I wanted you to feel what I felt

I did. When I saw you with James I hated it Im sorry I hurt you. Remus stopped talking and looked at his hands. I was so worried that James would use you and discard you. I wanted to protect you from him.

Remus, he wasnt using me. I was using him. Jade admitted. Remus looked confused. I went through the horny stage and he was the nearest one.

Oh right. Im still sorry I hurt you.

Jade turned to look at him and smiled at him. I forgive you.

So what are we now to each other?

Friends

Are you dating James or Sirius? Remus asked suddenly.

Jade snorted. No. I think theyre interested in each other though.

What?!

Dont look so surprised. What about you and Dan?

That was a potion.

Was it fun?

It was enjoyable.

As enjoyable as this? Jade said, leaning forward and giving Remus a quick kiss on the lips.

Well that was so quick. Remus pointed out.

Why Professor, are you seducing me?

Well, do you want to be?

Jades only answer was to grab Remus by the hair and kiss him roughly. Remus responded almost immediately. Jade ran her hands over Remus neck and back, finally entwining her hands in his hair. When she let him go, she asked. So what are we going to do about James and Sirius?

What about them?

I think they would make the perfect couple.

Remus coughed. You want to set them up? On a date? With each other?

Yes. Why?

Oh no reason I just think its a great idea.

If all else fails We can always push them into a cupboard.

It never fails.

Remus?

Hmm?

Lets find a cupboard.

Look everyone! Moony got some action. Sirius yelled, causing Remus to blush and everyone in the hall to turn and stare at Remus. Sirius took a long swig out of a bottle, full of a pale blue liquid and had Ale written on the label, he had picked up somewhere and then handed it to James, who drained the bottle.

James rounded on Remus. At least we know what you were doing in THAT cupboard now.

Yeah, You were shagging. Sirius said loudly.

Why werent we invited?

Because youre pests.

Aww Moony, you dont love us anymore Sirius said.

We really love you. James added.

Are you two drunk?

Us? Were just drunk on life James said, throwing an arm around Remus.

And shagging. Dont forget shagging. Sirius added, throwing his arm also around Remus.

Guys, what do you think youre doing? Remus asked, trying to get away from James and Sirius.

You dont love us anymore. Sirius wailed, holding on tight to Remus.

Im hurt. James sniffed. Ill just go and sit by Jade She loves me.

I do? Jade said, looking puzzled.

See. She does love me. James said, sitting down next to Jade and throwing his arm around her. He rested his head on her shoulder and shut his eyes.

Remus rolled his eyes. You never learn, do you?

We know all our colours and youre a nice shade of purple. Sirius giggled insanely.

Yeah Welcome to the purple club. Jadiekins is our fearless leader. James said.

Jade hit James on the arm. Dont call me Jadiekins. What had you been drinking anyway?

A bottle of a blue liquid. It read Something Ale on the label. James mumbled.

Jade hit James again. You idiot! That was my dads Christmas present. How much did you drink any way?

Not much Only half the bottle each. Sirius slurred, causing Jade to hit him as well.

Idiots, that stuff is very potent. Even half a bottle is enough to get you drunk. Jade mumbled.

Im horny! James suddenly said.

Oh it does that too. Jade said.

Jade, would you? James asked, leaning heavily on Jade.

Uh

Never mind. James said as he spotted his next victim. He walked up to her. Hi, James Potter at your service and you are?

The girl blushed and said in a quiet voice. Pami.

Hello. James said and grabbed and kissed her roughly. He pushed her back onto the table and ran his hand up her thigh, causing her to shiver in anticipation. He didnt see Jade pull out her wand and mutter a distraction spell.

Pami ran her finger along James back, under his shirt, enjoying the way he shivered and groaned.

James lifted Pamis skirt and ran his finger over her panties enjoying the way she wriggled and whimpered. Patience sweetheart good things come to those who wait he said, as he gently moved her knickers to the side and plunged his fingers inside her, causing her to yelp in surprise. He moved his fingers slowly back and forth inside her until she was on the edge, perilously close to going over. As he felt her muscles contract around his fingers, he slowed down even more, causing her to groan in frustration. With his free hand he worked her knickers down her legs and he took them off and placed them on the floor.

Pami trailed her fingers over the bulge in James trousers and then slowly unzipped them and then attentively put her hand inside and slowly massaged him until he was thrusting his hips and groaning.

James moved his hand out of Pami and positioned him at her entrance and thrust in, causing her to let out a loud gasp. He stilled, to give her a chance to get used to him inside her and then slowly moved his hips back and forth, speeding up as he worked out a rhythm. Pami wrapped her legs around him to try and give him deeper penetration.

With every thrust, Pami let out a moan of pleasure, feeling herself tipping dangerously close to the edge. With a high pitched squeak, she felt herself tip right over as a burst of pleasure rippled through her body. Her orgasm setting off James and after the pleasurable feeling had passed, James collapsed on top of her, out of breath.

Once they both had caught their breath, James slowly pulled out of Pami and bent down and handed her knickers back to her, with a kiss on her forehead. He smiled at her and whispered. Thanks.

Youre welcome. Pami sighed.

He looked at Jade and grinned as he zipped himself up and sat down next to Jade. Enjoy the show? Before Jade could answer he wondered to himself. Now who can I shag next?

Meanwhile Sirius was still attached to Remus and was running his fingers along Remus scars under his shirt. Remus tried to get away but he couldnt stop the small whimper that escaped from his throat as Sirius fingers touched a sensitive spot on his back.

This chapter includes songs by 'Simple Minds' and 'The Supremes'

---

Remus lifted the cover of the box and the mukink, a little green furry monster, that looked like a cross between a cat and a snake, looked at Jade. She gulped and stepped forward as it was released. It whirled around with a puff of smoke. When it stopped spinning, standing in front of her was three figures that caused everyones jaws to drop.

The doubles of James, Sirius and Remus wearing nothing but the tiniest thongs ever. Their doubles smiled at her saucily .

James smirked and looked at Jade. Well, well. Its nice to be someones deepest desire.

Jade chanced a look at Remus, who was staring at his double in shock.

Sirius snickered. Nice attire you put us in.

The doubles advanced on Jade and the Sirius double clamped a hand on her mouth so she couldnt sing and proceeded to try and bite on her arm. Jade whirled around and caught the Remus double in the stomach, causing it to back off. She punched the James double in the face and roundhouse kicked the Sirius double, freeing her mouth. She opened her mouth and sang quietly in her low voice.

Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby
Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me.

The doubles disappeared and reformed into the mukink. It glared at Jade as she moved to stand beside her friend, Kit. Kit turned to her. At least Remus cant complain it didnt turn into him this time.

Mmm hmm. Jade muttered, watching as Harry stepped forward. The mukink span around and in front of Harry stood Lily Evans, her red hair blowing as if in a breeze. She was wearing a dark green robe and she smiled sweetly at Harry.

Harry stepped back in shock. Mum.

James stepped forward, shock evident on his face. Lily, oh my God

Lilys sweet smile flew off her face and she advanced on Harry, hands outstretched.

Harry opened his mouth and sang in a surprisingly low voice.

Ooh baby love, my baby love
I need you, oh how I need you
But all you do is treat me bad
Break my heart and leave me sad
Tell me, what did I do wrong
To make you stay away so long '
Cause baby love, my baby love
Been missing ya, miss kissing ya
Instead of breaking up
Let's do some kissing and making up
Don't throw our love away
In my arms why don't you stay
Need ya, need ya
Baby love, ooh, baby love
Baby love, my baby love .

The mukink reverted back to its normal self.

James turned and walked out the door. Harry, who saw him leave, ran after him yelling. Dad! Wait up!


Harry caught up with James in the corridor. James was slumped down against the wall, with his head in his hands. Harry knelt down next to him. Dad? He asked uncertainly.

I thought Id mourned enough. I thought I could handle it but seeing her It was painful. It brought it all back. James said, his voice muffled by his hands. Harry sat beside James, unsure what to do.

I miss her too. Harry said. I dont really remember her but I miss her.

James turned and looked at Harry. Do you know what was worse? Harry shook his head. The worst thing was I knew it was a fake but even seeing the fake Lily was painful. At that moment I wished for *my* Lily to be back with me so I could hold her and tell her how much I loved her.

Harry looked at James with tears in his eyes. Harry dashed them away. Im sorry Dad.

James pulled Harry into a hug, but not before Harry saw tears run down the older mans face. Dont be sorry. James murmured into Harrys ear. Dont ever be sorry for showing emotion. James wrapped his arms around Harry and rubbed his back. Let it all out. James whispered in Harrys ear.

It was if a dam had broken inside Harry and his emotions bubbled to the surface and he sobbed against James shoulder, tears running down his face and soaking James robe. James was also sobbing, letting all the pent up grief inside rise up and overwhelm him.

They sat leaning against the wall sobbing against each other until all their tears had dried up. James leaned back and looked at Harry through bloodshot eyes. The tear stains on James face had not been wiped away. Harry, are you okay?

Harry nodded. Better.

How long have you been holding your emotions in?

Not long.

Harry, how long?

Im sorry for being so weak.

You are not weak Harry. You have a right to show your emotions. Whoever said Men shouldnt cry should be hexed repeatedly and then hung out to dry. Harry managed a small smile. Thats my boy. James said, wiping his face and smiling. Besides a real man always cries and doesnt care who sees him. Or is afraid to show his emotions.